The Search..

What have you been searching for?. A better life, a way out, an escape from reality. Aren’t we as humans constantly searching?, searching for something to satisfy our aching souls from the world we once perceived as loving and exciting but as we grow older we realize how dark and consuming it really can be. I’m not trying to be dark and depressing but my mind works like that sometimes, it thinks these thoughts that make me question everything, even my own existence. I have not yet found a way out of the black hole that sometimes comes like a thief in the night to drown me in despair and loneliness, I have not yet been able to find the cause of all this and still I am not able to get it together sometimes, sometimes I feel like I am trapped in a world that I’m not even sure even exists because these random pangs of hurt and heartbreak literally come at the worst time and it feels like it takes every thing away from me, even my breath. Maybe I’m in too deep, maybe I am searching too hard, or maybe I’m just lucky ( should I even count myself lucky or is that crazy?), lucky to have found out the truth about life. But then again this could all be a facade, and my mind could be playing tricks on me like it always does. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t know what to believe anymore. I am constantly searching for this thing that I cannot put into words but keeps me up at night wondering , “how will I ever reach it?”.

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